Distorted Exhaustion

Trying to move on with the day is all good inside the mind, but to actually "MOVE" can be another story. I tried to go outside to trim the bushes. And when I say "Trim the Bushes" I don't mean some sexual term. I really mean I needed to cut down the bushes.

There are only about 9 bushes in my front yard that need to be cut down. Not huge bushes, 3 ft high - that needed to be trim down to the size of a volleyball. So I thought, why not? Its not that big of a task, so I will go out and tackle those bushes. (I'm still not talking anything sexual) and thats what I did over the next 3 hours. I got so tired cutting down 1-2 bushes that I needed to come inside and take a break. I was out of breath, my body was exhausted. It was too much!!

Can you believe the exhaustion that this medication is having on me and my body? So what do I do? I need the excercise, But I can't handle too much and I shouldn't push myself to far. What is too far though? Is really cutting down 9 bushes too far? I guess so.

But come on! 9 bushes!! Thats all there was to do and it took all I could to trim them down and then even more energy to bag them up. This medication is making me very powerless over the simplest of activities. Let go and let god. I guess its time to ask others for help.

Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Helen Keller

I am still feeling lousy, but I am moving on with the day (Slowly). I have important tasks to do this evening. I have a board meeting to run for the last time. My status as President is coming to an end, and I need to run this meeting, then give my stuff over to the next President. I will still be sitting in and assisting the new president until he gets the hang of things. But this will be minimal compared to what I have had to do. This is all for the good, since I am on this treatment, and I feel the way I do, It's very hard for me to do as much as I was doing.

I try to move around and it is very exhausting. Even the smallest of steps cause me to be out of breath. I just got done eating a little something. Everything I look at is very unappealing. I forced myself to make something, and eat a portion of what I usually would eat. I'm taking the advice of my friend and drinking water and nibbling on something healthy in portions. If I eat anything more, I become nauseous.

Aching Feelings

I hurt. My body is having chills. I eat and I feel nauseous. even as I write this, I am having a hard time. I close my eyes, but my absent thoughts won't fall asleep. When I do finally get to sleep, I wake up all wet in sweat. I really don't feel good. There is an emptiness in my chest cavity. Every once in a while (very rarely) I feel a sharp pain in my upper right shoulder blade, maybe a tense muscle? I don't know, but that goes away. Its the yucky feeling in my head and body and the chills that bug me the most. I can't write any more. I really don't feel good.

I will try a dramamine and drink more liquids.