Just when you think you know what to expect. Just when you think you can forecast and percieve what you think is going to happen. Life throws you a curve, and you only have one thing to do. Ride with the tide, or swim against the current.
It's 5 am in the morning (Why would it be 5 am in the afternoon?) I am not ill. I am not sick. I feel okay. I feel fine. I feel wired. I took my shot at midnight, EXPECTING to feel like I usually feel after my shots. I wrote earlier how that was, so I will not bore you with my side effects(right now that is) My treatment has now turned its recognizable pattern that I thought was evolving and growing, I thought that I could tell how I was going to feel, Now into a mystery of I feel okay. And now I can't sleep.
So now I accept that everything will not be the same. I can't fight against the current of this treatment. As soon as I do, the medicine wins. I accept that I do not know all. Its only been 3 weeks of being on this medicine. I am not a doctor. I am not GOD. I am not mr. Know it all only after 3 weeks. I accept this. I ride with the ebb and flow of the tide.
I have been watching a movie and drawing. drinking my water and peeing. Peeing on my movie and drinking my drawing. Watching my water and peeing on my drawing. Just riding with the tide because what I thought I was supposed to feel Isn't what I am feeling.
But what is this I feel?
Yes, that was what I thought It was. That was an ache in my body. And that was a tired yawn.
As I try to publish this post It's getting more frustrating to go on and I am getting more tired.
P.S. I am getting very tired and need sleep now. I accept this. what else can I do? I certainly am in no mood or position to put up a fight. I am just too tired. The time is 5:34.
Note: 5 1/2 hours after 4th shot feel tired. Felt okay until then.
Starting of a headache on left side of forehead.
