Whispers of Exhausted Thoughts

As my past predicts, I am very tired and completely exhausted. Had a great hour and a half visit with grandma and ate dinner over at spencers parents. His nephews and niece were over there, so I guess I had a good all around family day visit over there. I can't get over at how exhausted I become at the smallest of tasks though. I've written this before and I will of course sometime in the future say it again, but It blows my mind at how mentally and physically exhausting just driving out there spending a few hours and coming back can become. I might as well have just came back from a 2 week trip on a safari in the depths of africa, where I was chased by a tiger and had to prevent myself from being molested by an elephant. Alright, maybe i'm over exagerrating just a tiny bit, but leave it to me to over analyze and blow things out of proportion. If I was to tell the truth I'd say I'm as tired as being on that safari for a week.....and thats the most I will over analyze my exhausting for today and I'm sticking to it.

I did get some movies from a friend of mine, he put aside some things for me to watch knowing I have all this free time until I go back to school. It's the little things in life that make me smile. And watching a movie is less tiring than being dry humped on the plains of africa by a giraffe. I would have to say you can't argue with that.

I sometimes get days where my brain doesn't work worth crap, and this goes without saying, especially for those of you who know of my proffesional A.D.D. but I will say it because I am the narrator of this lovely diary, but there are times that I can be a complete Doe Doe bird when it comes to thinking sometimes, and then put this lovely treatment I am on -right ontop of all that and I could be a complete melted marshmallow brain without the chocolate for the smores. Yep! that sums my day up perfectly. I am one hersheys chocolate bar short of a smore' - Don't you feel like that somedays?

Back to the movies, I'm grateful to have a friend set aside some non-brain thinkers for me to watch when I start to become incoherent.......Like now.

As for other noticeable Side effects: the "ribavirin" is making me want to scream and blow my top off at the smallest of things. I have to hold my breath, walk away and count to twenty thousand just to relax and then I get so amped up that I am getting so angry at the smallest of stupidest things that - that really seems to irritate me and then I find myself counting to twenty thousand and one. This of course is the side effect of the Ribavirin and as long as I know that it makes it okay........................Uhhhmmmm No it doesn't, that irk's the shit out of me too....J/k But truthfully, I'm really not liking the little whiny pissed off at everything feeling that I feel sometimes. I'm Sorry for those that come in contact with it but most importantly I'm sorry to our outside faucet for being the brunt of my anger. I apologize Mr. Faucet and I will have consideration for your feelings in the future.

Oh, and here is a lovely fun side effect that I endure. When I take a shower, it can't be too hot or too warm and not for too long. And when I am done I am supposed to lotion up. The medication dries my skin like skin that has become very dry. And the dry skin itches like skin that is itchy. And I just took a shower in a place where a shower is usually taken, and can't help but itch myself to oblivion. "Then put some Lotion on whiny Little Boy!!" I suppose you all have some great Idea for lotion, well, I will listen but my Nose will smell and drip and sniffle even the most non-scented of ideas. Maybe If I dip myself in KY jelly? but then I would have to have a midnight wrestling match with the swedish bikini team. I'm not much of a wrestler ,but I'll start...But then all I can think of is what if I started wrestling in the KY jelly and the scent of that bugged me and I got all sniffle snot plugged up nose....GOD,!! What a Allergy to smells HYPOCHONDRIAC freak I am!! I'm not picky, I guess I am.. .My skin is driving me up the walls. It was so much nicer when I smoked cigarettes and All that smoke blocked out everything that smelled. Including me....

My brain cells have shown you there best today, stay tuned for tomorrow......

Re-runs

including a never before seen commercial and dialouge about how I am tired and exhausted. And at the end I say something like.....I Don't Feel Good....Have you heard me say that yet??

Well, stay tuned tomorrow cause it's all brand new......

The afternoon Wakes me up

Awakening to the evening with a feel of optimism and a warm fuzzy in my pocket. I'm feeling much better. It's hard to tell where the tiredness from the medication ends and where I'm just exhausted from not moving around too much lately starts. It's not anything I really need to concern myself with and worry about, the important thing is how I feel right now and to make the most of it while it lasts.

I will be going out to Eden Prarie to pick up spence and hopefully see his grandma who is in the rehab hospital. She broke her ankle a week ago trying to reach something out of her chair. She is like my grandma so it is very important to me go see her. She was in emergency last weekend and now she in "The Colony" right inside eden prarie, which is right down the road from his parents house.

So that will be my evening. Nothing to dramatic but atleast it will be nice to get out of the house. You bring your body and your mind will follow and lately my my have become stagnate.