The evening Is at a close

I just came home from helping a friend out, It's 1:45am. I think I did a real good job pacing myself today. It feels like its been a long day, I'm tired and full. Side effects are low. Only a yucky body feeling and fatigue. mentally I am doing alright.In the past, I am used to feeling like crap, for the last 2 years i have slowly been getting sick more and more and before I started this treatment atleast every other week I would feel like this. so this is nothing too new, the only difference is that There are some other side effects that I am not used to and the ones that I am use to, like tiredness and fatigue are amplified to the tenth degee. Plus I am not used to feeling like this every day. I got the mowing done. Only in the front that is. I used to be able to walk the whole front yard and backyard. I was only able to use the push mower on half the front yard and my breathing was heavy. So I played it smart and used the rider for the rest of the frontyard. I have also noticed that my gums have become more sensitive. when I floss it hurts here and there, and I have woken up in the mornings (really the afternoons) and my jaw is sore like I have been pressing my teeth against eachother really hard in my sleep.

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratefulness, the sun is shining and its a perfect day to get on top of that lawn mowing that needs to get done. The only tired I feel is from just waking up. I realized not to get down on myself for going to bed so late and waking up in the afternoon. If I can't sleep, then why fight it. The important thing is that I am finally getting to sleep and when I do sleep I am getting enough rest. And that worrying about drowning and flushing out my interferon, well I will ask the nurse, But I won't fret too much about that and just drink when I am thirsty. I don't need to sit and worry about that. Its a new day, and in front of me is a set of choices. The first choice that I have is how will I live today, full of shame and worry or gratefulness and love. Its my choice, and I choose to persevere and become not wither and shy away from today.

4:36am

Tick tock goes the clock
another cricket chirps a song
and I lay awake with a crappy book
I close my eyes
but it does no good
I have a soft pillow
my blanket is warm
but when I close my eyes
I toss and turn
Maybe if I write
or watch T.V.
Maybe if I go to the bathroom
and go pee pee
Then I might be able to go to sleep
and finally sail away into my dreams...

More water please?

Found out today that i might be drinking too much water. I might be flushing out my inteferon that I inject once a week. Well isn't that just great. Before I started treatment, I drank a lot of water. Now, I try to drink more. What the interferon is is a toxin. I Have done some reading up on this and still am not sure. I will try to get a hold of my nurse tomorrow to see what she has to say about this. if I am just flushing the toxins out of my body,It could explain why my side effects haven't been so bad. I need those toxins for killing. I would rather have side effects and the possibility of this treatment working, than feel good and not have the treatment work. I'm off to bed now. Its time for me to sleep.

P.S. All I had energy for that I could do for yardwork was blowing the driveway off and blowing the leaves into 2 piles and putting those into bags. Then I went to my meeting, then went over to josh's. I need to learn to pace myself and tomorrow work on mowing the front yard. If I have to I can always use the riding lawnmower to mow the grass. I just would like to get a little bit of excercise in, but its really hard to when you don't have any energy...

Funny thing my mom said to me today.. well, I thought it was funny. She asked me how I was doing and I said "I'm feeling tired" she said "GOOD, Thats how your supposed to be feeling." Leave it to mom's to set you straight. This is how I am supposed to be feeling, Not only do I have Hepatitis C, but I'm on a treatment with side effects, And wouldn't you guess, Feeling tired is one of those side effects