Distorted Exhaustion
Trying to move on with the day is all good inside the mind, but to actually "MOVE" can be another story. I tried to go outside to trim the bushes. And when I say "Trim the Bushes" I don't mean some sexual term. I really mean I needed to cut down the bushes.There are only about 9 bushes in my front yard that need to be cut down. Not huge bushes, 3 ft high - that needed to be trim down to the size of a volleyball. So I thought, why not? Its not that big of a task, so I will go out and tackle those bushes. (I'm still not talking anything sexual) and thats what I did over the next 3 hours. I got so tired cutting down 1-2 bushes that I needed to come inside and take a break. I was out of breath, my body was exhausted. It was too much!!
Can you believe the exhaustion that this medication is having on me and my body? So what do I do? I need the excercise, But I can't handle too much and I shouldn't push myself to far. What is too far though? Is really cutting down 9 bushes too far? I guess so.
But come on! 9 bushes!! Thats all there was to do and it took all I could to trim them down and then even more energy to bag them up. This medication is making me very powerless over the simplest of activities. Let go and let god. I guess its time to ask others for help.
posted by Jasondeanh | 3:55 PM
3 Comments:
Hi Jason
I had to mow my Mums lawn over the Summer, which was fine. But when she asked me to cut her bush, I left pronto;)
Seriously though; If I had tried to do any of my Mums gardening back in March when I was at the same stage as you, I would've been whacked too! It's fine what you're doing though. A couple of bushes at a time, with a day of rest then some more the next day. It's totally understandable about how you're feeling on the meds and frustrating I bet too because of feeling so useless sometimes because of the tiredness, pain, shortness of breath etc. You're still quite near the start of tx and I really do think you will start to feel better over the next few weeks. Then the time will fly by hopefully, like it is with me right now.
I thought maybe that a little drive somewhere, take along your camera & just take some photos of anything you like the look of. I find it really helped me, getting out just for a bit and coming home to see what I ended up with on my computer. You seem like the kind of guy that likes to play around with photoshop etc. I'd be quite interested to see what it looks like around there. I'm used to Atlanta & Charleston, SC (where my ex-girlfriend lived). I haven't been back in just over a year as I didn't want to travel whilst on tx. She's in San Diego right now at the Uni. We're still buddies, so I may get to visit her next Summer.
Anyways,
Take it easy Jason,
Jason too;)
P.s. And remember....one bush at a time, wink wink;)
Didn't I say beach ball size?
Glad to see your sense of humor, Bro :)
I still need to learn this, but since easier to give advice to others (yeah, yeah...), there is no point comparing yourself to what you expect a healthy capable adult of doing. If nine bushes is too much for you- it's too much.
Maybe one day you can do five, one day maybe fourteen. Hey, think Dr. Seuss. One bush, two bush, three bush..
Love,
Sis
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